I am revisiting one of my most read blogs — bitter or better (reflection of a single woman of faith) on singledom. I confess it is not exactly a great blog when I read it then and again as I am reading it now but at the time, I just wanted to say what was weighing on my mind.
I remembered after I completed the blog, my pastor thanked me for “encouraging the community of faith” and I think I actually blushed! Two years on since the blog that I thought was simply my humble doodles, I am reflecting on where life has taken me and where I am now with my thoughts on being single.
A lot have changed in my personal life since then especially in the last year, from losing a job that even I thought was one where I might stick to until I graciously retire, hitting a milestone birthday, coping with my family on my mum’s major surgery and subsequent chemotherapy that was just completed after 6 months to moving to a new city, starting a new job and beginning a new life.
It certainly has a silver lining to my single status as it helped lessen the pressure primarily financially when I left one job without a new one lined up because I do not have a family of my own to take care of. Being single also allowed me to share the burden of providing intensive care with undivided attention to my mum with my dad and my siblings after her surgery. When I was in between jobs, my days were free and I had the freedom to meet up with friends for tea or meals whenever it suited us. After the dust had settled with all that life had thrown at us, I made a life-changing decision and got uprooted to somewhere new and turned a new leaf. Being single undoubtedly has its privileges!
I think I embrace being single even more so now than 2 years ago as it is the very reason that I am able to be where I am now — being led on to this new, exciting, life-changing and fulfilling journey.
I am fortunate to be given a comfortable accommodation at the hotel where I now work so it means I am pampered with minimal house chores and left with plenty of free time to explore and experience what big city Kuala Lumpur has to offer. I plan or answer to last minute calls for coffee, lunch and/or dinner, movies or shopping more often than I ever did while I was back home in Kota Kinabalu.
I continue to enjoy and embrace being single… when I am not hanging out with friends, I am, and always have been comfortable during my alone time when I get to unwind and relax as I have learnt to enjoy my own company. Cooking for one can be fun as I get to prepare for what my palate desires and I also get to work on new recipes without being pressured by another’s expectations. I get to be in touch with my creativity and work on my hobbies as I am blessed with undisturbed spare time. During lazy weekends I bring a book to a coffee shop or on days like today my laptop and gather my thoughts on this blog while sipping coffee, and at intervals allow my thoughts to drift to what my dinner for one tonight is going to be, or just people-watching… the carefree days of being single is good.
I believe some of my close friends and probably including my aging parents still have the nagging question on their mind and wonder often, secretly maybe, whether I will meet that someone special and if they will ever witness the day when my singledom is brought to an end. Well, I am not going to lose any sleep over that hypothetical will-she-won’t-she question as who knows what the sometimes humorous Almighty has up His sleeve for a stubborn soul like me?! At this moment in time, I might be too comfortable on being on my own, for my own good some might add but I know without looking too hard, they will notice how happy, contended. positive, strong and fabulous I am being single.
Bitter? Never! Better? Most definitely!
— Those who fly solo have the strongest wings —