I only managed to write a few blogs in the past one year. In those infrequent blog entries, I shared a glimpse of my journey through a season of rest – my physical rest, short domestic travelling, bereavement and further rest, all in that particular order.

To many, a year and a half of a break might seem excessively long, and I would have shared the same view had anyone mentioned it to me when I walked away from my job. Initially, I believed that a few months would suffice for me to catch my breath. I yearned for physical rest to recover from the overwhelming stresses of work, the fatigue brought upon by fighting a spiritual warfare for my family that started a year prior, and the heavy burden of navigating through various health issues affecting my loved ones. The latter included a parent’s diagnosis of cancer and the other’s relapse, and the near-loss of both to Covid. Four months into my break and with the profound loss of a parent, I knew I had to extend my personal sabbatical indefinitely.

It is customary for me to do my year-end reflection but I neglected it in the past 2 years. Not that I lacked reasons to be thankful for; on the contrary, I experienced an abundance of God’s grace, mercy, love and presence more than ever before. He had my family in the palm of His hand and He has been holding us securely there ever since. However, the significant changes in our lives led me to deviate from my usual routine.

Rest is not a sign of weakness; it is a powerful choice to honour the needs of your soul and nurture your spirit.

unknown

My “real rest” I realised, started only after the extension of my leave. I live my days leisurely, unhurriedly and at peace, unapologetically. My only “stress” is when I wake up and try to work out what day of the week it is. I get up early and take naps during the day whenever I feel tired. I eat simply and healthily but I am also learning to better my cooking skills by making more complex dishes. I spend time with family and friends, and I also entertain. I watch dramas. I read. I journal. I pray.

My serving in the English and Chinese interpretation and translation ministry at church keeps my brain cells active and keeps me grounded. An 8-month Christian course on “Inner Healing and Deliverance” came at the right time to equip and prepare me for my onward journey to serve God in this specific field to which He has called me. I anticipate myself to be kept busy when the next equipping course on the same subject starts in the last quarter of the year while turning over a new leaf in my career path with my new venture.

All was well until recently when the tiredness crept in again – physically, mentally and even spiritually. I accepted a friend’s invitation to stay at her farmstay for a few days last week. I called it my personal retreat, a way to escape from it all, clear my head, and prepare for a reset. I thought it was amusing that I needed a rest even during my season of rest.

While inhaling the fresh country air, listening to morning birds and evening cicadas, harvesting fresh vegetables from the garden, lounging and reading on the sundeck, and revelling in the breathtaking sunset from the balcony, I found myself soothed and I slowly relaxed.

I experienced mental clarity while being surrounded by the peaceful rhythm and mesmerising beauty of nature. I was aware that my physical and mental weariness resulted from overcommitting myself, causing my plate to overflow. Not having any job commitments gave both myself and others the false impression that it was acceptable for me to take on numerous or any offers, even serving for several consecutive weeks. My presumption that I could handle everything, combined with my reluctance to disappoint others at times only worsened the situation. Hence, I am marking this as the starting point of where I embrace the art of saying “no” and establish a healthy boundary.  

The prayers offered during my stay edified me immensely, providing a safe space for me to release my emotions and allowing me to bask in the love, presence and assurance of God demonstrated through the love and care of my friends. I was rejuvenated as my spiritual fatigue stemmed from constantly pouring out love, care and prayer for others without having my own spiritual reserves replenished.

Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.

Eleanor Brownn

As I immersed myself in the serene surroundings and lost in deep contemplation, a realisation dawned on me, that this divinely orchestrated season of rest held a singular purpose – to bring healing. Healing for me that would come through rest and self-care, soul-nourishing conversations and quality time with family and friends, learning from the course on inner healing and deliverance which simultaneously ministered to me personally, prayer ministry from my course mentors and friends and intimate moments spent with God. I was reminded that, until I embark on the next leg of my journey, it is crucial for me to honour and safeguard the remaining portion of my current season.

Sitting on the doorsteps, I felt a gentle breeze that seemed to carry God’s whisper, telling me softly that healing surpasses the mere mending of physical wounds or ailments. It encompasses the nourishing and restoration of one’s mind, soul and spirit. My moments of rest had not been a simple pause in the chaos of life, but an opportunity for God’s healing to gently come upon me.

Isaiah 40:29-31

²⁹ He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
³¹ but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.